Each day I am deeply moved by grandparents who balance parental responsibilities with other family caregiving responsibilities. As difficult as this balancing act is, I have come to appreciate, through experiences like the following, that grand-caregiving can uplift both the adult and the child in remarkable ways.
Miriam is caring for her husband who has dementia and needs around the clock supervision. Three days a week, she also cares for their 3 grandchildren, ages 1, 3 and 4, to help out their children.
Miriam was very apologetic for cancelling her appointment but stated that their kids really need some help right now and this saves them babysitting expenses. She juggled one child on her hip while we talked and the other two ran around in the next room, toys scattered. I tried again to reinforce to her that her health is very important so that she can continue to provide the caregiving her husband require, especially as his needs will only increase at this point of his disease. She looked directly at me and said in a stronger voice, “The grandbabies are the only thing that makes both of us happy anymore.”
A small child opens the door to my knock. I ask if Roberta is there, he looks directly at me and my overstuffed nursing bag and turns away to yell up the stairs, “Grandma, the nurse is here.” He then opens the door and invites me inside.
While I wait for Roberta to join us, I discover that his name is Ty, he is 8 and he lives with his Grandma and several other young cousins. Roberta slowly enters the room but is not receptive to my being there. Ty stays with us and listens to me explain why it is so important that she keeps her diabetes in control; she needs to check her sugar readings several times a day, take her insulin as the doctor ordered, and watch her diet. She does not respond to my instructions. I ask where her blood sugar monitor is; she shakes her head but Ty gets up and collects it from a drawer in the buffet.
He takes out the equipment and sets it up without hesitation. Ty then hands the lancet to his grandmother. Roberta obtains the drop of blood on her fingertip and Ty completes the testing without any difficulty.
I asked Ty what else he does to help his Grandma. He then demonstrated that he could prepare the correct dose of insulin for her and Roberta would administer it at his urging.
I realized that Ty was the caregiver in this home, a heavy load for such small shoulders.
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