Holiday Visits

This is the time of when we enjoy visiting those we care about.  If you are planning to visit someone who is currently ill, or someone who is caring for an ill or elderly family member, here are some suggestions:

·        Always call first.  If the family asks you not to visit at this time, please respect their request.  If you arrange a visit and your plans change, notify them as soon as possible and ask them what is the best time or date to reschedule. 

·        Keep your visit short; 30 to 40 minutes is usually best for everyone involved.  Be prepared to leave early if it becomes evident that the ill person or caregiver is tired, not feeling well, or unable to prolong the visit for any reason.

·        Keep gifts small and useful.  Even the best-intentioned gifts can create stress or awkwardness.  Gifts that are too extravagant can overwhelm the recipient or make them feel guilty that they are not able to reciprocate.  Large gifts can become large storage problems.  Gift cards are tricky, too, if the recipient is homebound.  Small items like ornaments, fresh fruit, home-made bread and jam, a cozy shawl, or a pair of warm socks or slippers are most often well received.  If you are taking gifts to someone in a hospital, hospice facility, or assisted living home, be sure you observe the facility’s rules and restrictions.

·        Structure your conversation around shared memories, and express gratitude for being able to visit.  Talking about good times in the past is especially helpful to those suffering from memory problems.  Refrain from remarking on the individual’s physical appearance or condition, or trying to reassure them that everything will be alright.  While comments like “You look pale (or tired or thinner)” or “You look better all the time,” might be well-meaning, they are likely to come across as insensitive or insincere.  

·        Keep any promises you make during the visit.