The Strength of Hope

The wait was almost over.  Yesterday, I sat with my parents to learn the result of my Dad’s testing.  The scans they had done the week before were negative; there was no sign of cancer in his brain, chest, abdomen or pelvic areas.   My immediate thought went to a prayer of thanksgiving at the doctor’s words.   Dad has one more test, a bone scan tomorrow before a final staging of the cancer can be determined. 

His oncologist is an incredible professional with a caring manner she shares with the individuals and families facing this type of crisis.  She spoke softly and directly to us, maintaining eye contact.  Her choice of words were those that my parents could grasp; she repeated herself to clarify what was known, what was still unknown and what she would recommend.  She was patient with our questions and concerns. 

Just as my sister and sister-in-law had done on previous contacts, I asked questions written prior to the meeting and took notes.  It is hard to listen, absorb and remember when emotions are stirring.  Dad has time to consider her recommendations; she also encouraged him to get other opinions.  Understanding that every individual and situation is different, it is very important to give full consideration to all options before closing the door on them.   

The initiation of the actual chemotherapy was somewhat anticlimactic.  The infusion room was bright and calm; the nurses were friendly keeping their explanations simple and concise.  Other patients came and went as the day wore on; some chatted, others watched TV or read and a few napped.   My Dad’s anxieties diminished, he shared his thoughts with me at the end of the session; “I didn’t feel alone there”.  At the cancer center, he found a bond with others as each faced a similar battle against their disease.

Since this began, my father has found that well-meaning family and friends offer sympathy over his diagnosis and some share poor outcome stories.  He doesn’t want disheartening thoughts now, he needs encouragement.  He is strengthened by the love and confidence of his faith and family.

My Mother and I took the opportunity to take a ride and treat ourselves to lunch out during this time. When we returned we sat in a crowded waiting room with other patients, families and friends. We chatted with others, watched TV, read and shared newspapers.  

Caregivers can and should use of this time to care for themselves.  They may enjoy reading a book, watching television, making long overdue calls or treating themselves to lunch out, a shopping trip or a walk in the fresh air knowing that their loved one is in competent and caring hands.